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Loving Your Deaf ChildBy Rev. Justin Vollmar and Dan Nemeth May 31, 2008 Has your doctor given you the dreadful news that your newborn baby is Deaf? Such news probably left you feeling devastated. You may even have cried out to God, “Why?” As Christians, we want to offer you a different, hopeful perception of your cherished baby. Please remember that you hold in your hands the most precious gift given by God! It does not matter if your baby is Deaf, blind, crippled, paralyzed, or mentally retarded. This may be difficult to accept, but as time passes, and after your emotions have faded, you will find yourself agreeing with this statement: Your child is a miracle, not a mistake. Nothing should change your feeling toward your baby. Why? Because God already knew what kind of baby you would have. It is all part of His providential plan. God knew Jeremiah before he was formed (Jeremiah 1:5). God knew Isaac, John the Baptist, Samuel, and every other child. Jesus said, in Matthew 10:30, “But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” If your hair is already numbered, then surely He already knew every birth defect formed in every baby. Do you feel guilty about your child’s differences? The Bible clearly says that it is not your fault that your child is Deaf, neither is it a punishment or judgment from God, but an unfortunate result of a sinful and cursed world. The disciples asked in John 9:2, “Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?” Our Lord Jesus Christ replied in the next verse, “Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” Only God’s grace can prevail and turn your child into a blessing. God has chosen you to raise this Deaf child because He knows you will love this child no matter what. The most important thing your baby needs now is your unselfish and unconditional love.
Your Deaf child knows nothing about the hearing loss he has suffered. He should not see your disappointment, but your understanding and compassion. Please do not resent your Deaf child, but show acceptance and patience. If you reject his Deafness, then how can he receive support and encouragement he desperately needs from you? As a Christian parent, you need to follow the same biblical principles of parenting for your Deaf child. The dangers of raising your Deaf child in a selfish and self-centered way are very real. You will have to change your feelings in order to be able to meet your Deaf child’s needs. The sad truth is that some Deaf adults have become bitter toward God, because their Christian parents did not love them and treated them as a judgment or a curse from God. The parents did not accept their children’s deafness but made them feel inferior and unimportant in the family. They may even have tried to make them able to hear again through harmful medical experiments. Were these appropriate actions? No, they should have first given these precious children their nurturing love.
Another vital thing you can do for your Deaf child is to give that child a language. American Sign Language (ASL) is truly a God-given language for the Deaf people. Deaf people using ASL come to rely on their eyes as their primary sense. Thus, a visual language that uses hands to make signs and gestures is vital to their well-being and future. Even the Lord Jesus Christ set an example for what to do with the Deaf people. In Mark 7:32-37, He first communicated with the Deaf man by using hand gestures. Why? Surely, it was much easier for Jesus to heal the Deaf man first, and then speak with him. No, He did it differently: He actually treated the Deaf man as an equal human being. He wanted that Deaf person to understand what was going on. Jesus gestured to the Deaf man and we presume that he understood Him. Jesus Christ, as omniscient God, knew the importance of setting an example with the Deaf people. Many parents do not realize that the majority of Deaf children will never be able to speak normally. God said to Moses in Exodus 4:11, “Who hath made man's mouth? Or who maketh the dumb, or Deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? Have not I the LORD?” Did you note the word “dumb”? It mean being unable to speak. Most Deaf people are both “Deaf” and “dumb.” Only a small percentage of Deaf children will be partially able to speak. In fact, probably only a few, or at least one percent, will be able to speak fluently. Nothing can ever change the FACT that your child is DEAF. It was part of God’s plan that your child is born Deaf. It is our conviction that those promoting the use of cochlear implants (C.I.) or oral methods, while frequently discouraging the use of ASL, are wrong. Many medical professors even discourage the use of simple gestures, concerned that the Deaf child may be attracted to sign language. Some parents have been advised to slap their Deaf child’s hands or to restrain that child’s hand movement. Many Deaf adults testify to a miserable childhood filled with frustration and oppression. Leviticus 19:14 says, “Thou shalt not curse the Deaf, nor put a stumbling block before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the LORD.” The word, “curse,” means to make them suffer, feel despised, or frustrated. These parents do this because they want their child to hear and speak like normal hearing children. Their first instinct might be seeking for some sort of solution to their child’s hearing loss. Your doctor or hearing specialist might offer you some hope in restoring your child’s hearing loss. This philosophy is a “succeed or fail” policy. Consider this: if your Deaf child were unable to speak after years of training and therapy, you would then have deprived that child of being fluent in either English or ASL. Without understanding God’s plan for Deaf people, parents may have ignorantly banished their children to a miserable existence. The solution should be in steps. Before trying to get your child to hear and speak, make sure he learns ASL and uses it well. Give him this vital communication skill. Any Deaf child can easily learn ASL, but not all of those with cochlear implants or using oral methods can learn to speak effectively. C.I. and oral users face a lifetime struggle of frustration and miscommunication. ASL users, on the other hand, mostly experience near-zero mishaps in their acquisition of ASL. Indeed, ASL is a natural language perfectly suited for all Deaf people. We want to clarify that we do not forbid speech training or the use of hearing aids. Many different tools can be used to teach a child how to speak. It is possible to learn ASL and English at the same time. This successful approach is called “bilingual education.” Many state Deaf schools and Gallaudet University use this approach. 3 The real problem is the attempts to fix Deaf children’s Deafness by forbidding ASL in order to focus primarily on speech skills. When they fail to speak properly, they discover they cannot live in either the hearing or the Deaf world, because they usually cannot sign as well. Acquisition of language must occur at an early age. Cochlear implants, oral methods, etc. are not a language but tools. Children need to learn how to communicate first before using any tools. God has shown clearly that ASL is the divinely chosen language for the Deaf people. Nowhere in the Bible can you find that neglect of language, communication, and ultimately education is an acceptable treatment of your Deaf child. This is a violation of God’s plan for the Deaf people. If you limit or deny ASL, you will be taking away their God-given language. No Christian parents should do that to their Deaf children. We warmly encourage you to continue loving your Deaf child and teach him or her American Sign Language as soon as possible. Then, regardless of research and technological advances, your child will have a solid foundation in communication. _________________________________ |
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